Statuatory Warning: LOT of curse words ahead. If you cant stand curse words, well then fuck you.

My stay in Chennai is turning out to be one big lesson as to what kinda pricks and dumb fucks exist in this planet.

First it was the ChennaiCops. Then it was the stupid mansion owner.  Recently it was a stupid hotel cashier. Chalk up yet another dumb prick to that list courtesy yesterday night’s sequence of events.  As usual, after doing some last minute mail checking, I went to sleep at around 01:45. Barely half hour later, we had a power failure. No fans, 40 degree temperature, >90% humidity, sweat pouring down your head and neck, I was certainly NOT in the best of my mood. And then, bam! Some stupid prick prick starts playing music from his (presumably Walkman series, going by the loudness)phone AT FULL VOLUME,  at 02:30. I mean WTF? I gave him a bit of time, waited for couple of songs to get over, thinking he would stop playing it.

But noooo, he HAD to continue. I was controlling myself, counting to ten, trying not to get angry. But when that prick continued playing, I jsut lost my cool, and yelled at the top of my voice, “Abbe Idiot music player bandh kar!”, TWICE. Immediately, he shuts down the player. And then, 5 mins of silence. And then, he starts ranting like a madman. “Come to my room. Show your face. I’ll screw your ass! I’ll screw your happiness” <curses more in Tamil>. Starts playing the music again, at a Low volume for 30 seconds, stops it, and then starts barking “Show your face! Come to my Room, #308. Complain to the manager. This isnt your apartment”. He’s barking all this, I’m still going WTF, how retarded is this asshole.

And then he says this final piece of shit dialog which made me go 

[like a whining little kid]“I wanna listen to music”, “I wanna listen to music”

LISTEN YOU DUMB PRICK,IF YOU WANNA LISTEN TO MUSIC, DO IT AT MORNINGS OR EVENINGS, NOT WHEN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS SLEEPING, FAGGOT. YOU WANNA DO THAT DURING NIGHT TIME, USE A FUCKING EARPHONE.

IF you can’t afford that, here’s Fifty Paise. Go grab them earphones and stuff them in your ears.
RETARDS.

Well there are somethings which I thought I’d never see. Now as I’ve seen it all(ok, almost all!)

The setting: Yesterday night/today early morning
The time: 2:00 AM
The Place: Cristal Guest House, Chennai, the guest house where I stay.

I was sleeping blissfully, having a good night’s sleep. Then all of a sudden, I hear a faint buzz. Thought that was just me dreaming. Then, BUZZ again. And then the door starts banging. I was half awake now, cursing the person who might be buzzing the room at this unearthly hour. I open the door, only for finds Cops staring at me :!: At this moment, I was still in a very dazed state, and then seeing cops banging the doors of other rooms I realize that this is no dream!
Here’s the talk I had with the Cop:

Cop: How many people in room?
Me: 2
Cop: Let me see (and then he peeks in)
Cop: What you doing here?
Me: Working in Chennai
Cop: Show id card
Me: Here(and shows him my 3i Infotech ID Card)
Cop: Ok oK
Me(tell my Roomie): Arre Adi, show him your id na(my roomie was too sleepy and had no idea what’s happening)
Cop: It’s ok
Then the Cop shifts his focus to other room
Me: Can we please go back to sleep now??
Cop: OK OK

I was like whaa…. with this whole incident!

So what was teh reason for this radi?

Few people had even suggested reasons: Drugs, porn, while my assumption was that it was because of hookers. Well I got the update from the Guest House manager, and nope. It wasn’t for drugs. Not for porn. Not for hookers. Not for piracy either.
The reason? THIS.
Apparently there was a tipoff that Mr. Modi would be killed and that his assassins were already in Chennai. Hence the “tight” security. So by launching raids at 2:00 AM at all possible guest houses, just few hours before Mr. Modi would land in Chennai, they could detect and find the assassins?

So, here’s 50 paise to the extremely “tight” and efficient security system of cops.

[This was a guest post by SathyaBh.at]

Generally I always carry a fair amount of cash with me, coz I’m a bit paranoid as to what might happen if I’m stranded without cash. The set of incidents which happened just now will now ensure that I will always carry cash with me.

I’d been to Hotel Balaji Woodlands for dinner - I don’t go there often, but have been there enough number of times to know that they *do* accept Debit cards. Now it so happened that I didn’t have enough cash with me - I had only Rs 30. Wondering whether I should goto the hotel or not, I just decided to go there. I ordered Naan and Kaaju paneer(or, kaaju curry as that was what given to me, the paneer - well they decided to eat it themselves 8-|. I asked for the bill - it came upto Rs. 50. Fair enough I went to the cashier and gave him my debit card to charge it to that. The next set of events left me dumbfounded. Here’s the conversation

Me: (hands over bill and ATM card)

Hotel Guy(HG): (Shakes his head)

Me: What?

HG: Rs 50.. not enough

Me: I don’t have cash. Either you accept that or you give me this meal for free

HG: (puts my ATM card into the drawer)

Me: (Getting pissed) Hello, give me my ATM card back

Waiter: You go get cash, then I’ll give card

Me: Hello? How do you expect me to withdraw cash WITHOUT my ATM card?

HG: We don’t accept debit cards for small amount

Me: (Me with voice raised, and bit of temper) What kinda stupid Hotel do you run? The one which says We accept debit card, but then reject it for “small amounts”? Give my debit card back

(Now it begins to look like a scene - there are few foreigners in the hotel, and he obviously doesn’t want the incident to be heard to all)

Finally, he gives my ATM card and asks me to pay for the dinner tomorrow. I say fine

So here’s 50 paise to the hotel guy. I hope that amount is “big enough” to be charged to a debit card.

This was a guest post by SathyaBh.at